You’re winding down after a long day, so you open up Grindr to see who’s around. And you see the same people who were around yesterday — and the day before. Because your apartment is in the same location it’s always been. And unless the apartment next door suddenly gets a new occupant on the first of the month, chances are everyone around you is still in the same place they were yesterday and the day before.
Seeing the same people on your feed day after day can get exhausting and boring. It’s what makes you close the app and not check it again until the next time you find yourself drunk and horny.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. There are things you can do to refresh your feed and find a whole new crop of guys — or see the ones you encounter on your feed every day in an entirely different light. So instead of giving up on Grindr just because the blonde down the street is still looking for “fun 24/7,” just not with you, try some of these tips on for size.
- Move — Not literally. You don’t have to give your 30-day notice or put your condo on the market. But try checking Grindr when you aren’t at home. Do it at work (on your break — not when you’re talking to Amy from accounting in the kitchen). At the coffee shop. On vacation. Heck, grab a book, hop in the car, go to a new neighborhood, open your app, and watch the messages pour in. Just like you’re ecstatic when a new guy shows up on your feed, they will be too. So go somewhere new and remember how it feels to be fresh meat again.
- Try the “Fresh Faces” feature — That scroll bar at the top of your app? That’s new. It’s a feature Grindr added because (shock) people like seeing fresh faces on their feed. So be the “Welcome Wagon” for those that are new to the app. Strike up a convo, share some pics, and find out what they’re looking for. Make that your first stop before you dive into the sea of regulars.
- Change your profile pic — This may seem like an odd suggestion, but just like you’re sick of seeing the same faces, they’re sick of seeing yours. So give them a new option. One pic is not a lot to go off of, and when you switch up your look (trade “beach bum” for “dressy” or “sporty” for “laid back”), you get a whole new crop of people hitting you up. And they’ll share more pics. And who knows? The guy down the street you’ve been ignoring for months might actually turn out to be just your type.
- Adjust what you’re looking for — You shouldn’t have to abandon your sense of self to chat with a new crop of people. But if “only looking for fun” isn’t turning up many results, loosen up. “Friends and fun” or “open to suggestions” might seem less intense. “Serious about dating and conversation” doesn’t need to be so “serious.” “Chat, friends, dates and more” is a lot more open to interpretation. Add an Instagram link, and maybe some fun facts to make the whole thing a bit more relaxed. Meeting men online should be fun, not a full-time job.
- Adjust who you’re talking to — Some of the best convos I’ve ever had online have been with people I might not typically chat with because our interests differ or they aren’t my “type.” But step outside of your comfort zone and hit a couple of guys with a “sup” or a “how you doing?” Then follow it with something with a bit more substance. You never know what the guy you’re chatting with is looking for at that moment, and you just might connect with someone you’ve overlooked in the past.