Khia Can Report Directly To The Fifth Circle of Hell

Khia Can Report Directly To The Fifth Circle of Hell

When your fame is largely rooted in a ditty where you command someone to lick your ass crack, you’re not the prime candidate to be throwing jabs at any man into anal sex.

So, when it comes to Khia moving forward, that ungrateful, spiteful, embittered living internet troll can leap crotch or ass crack first into a lake of fire for all I care. It’s bad enough she single-handedly ruined what had become my new favorite thing, the digital series “The Queens Court,” but she’s taken herself to new lows by slamming the very community that’s provided her the only tablespoons of relevancy she’s had in several years.

To be fair, Khia had every right to take issue with YouTube personality Funky Dineva taking aim at her children and grandchildren. There is no need to invoke family in such a petty, and ultimately, inconsequential dispute. Khia’s kin have nothing to do with their rift, so it was inappropriate to bring them up.

However, that does not excuse what Khia said about all queer people in her attempts to retaliate against him over what he said about her.

During her rant, Khia revealed the following: “Cause a lot of my thugs and like I said a lot of my ‘conscious brothers’ was like, ‘Why are you fucking with these people? They not right. They not conscious. They not living. You know, they taking in the ass; they ass is connected to the spine; the spine is connected to the brain; they all brainwashed. They doing this, they doing that. You know the queen, why-why-why?’”

Her response was, “It’s work.” Moreover, she described Dineva as a “sissy and a punk” and “that’s how he makes his money.” And she also rather stupidly issued a threat on the Internet that would yield Khia far more legal trouble than she’s ever entertained with her alleged food stamp fraud, said if her “thugs” got to Dineva, we the queers would be “hollering that it’s a hate crime.”

I don’t have on a judge robe, but I am drinking Hennessy at my desk and ready to serve as judge, jury, and executioner for this empty-headed, fake conscious, audible pussy slinging buffoon.

There has long been debate as to whether or not Khia’s uh, pedestrian way of describing gender and sexuality on “The Queens Court” made her homophobic and transphobic. I can understand why the question might’ve not have been easily answerable. I say that because Khia doesn’t strike as a person who reads anything besides her old warrants and frequents herself around lots of gay and trans people and that is reflective in her speech.

In many ways, she seemed more or less “too comfortable.” As in, she confused her friendly relationships – conspicuously all rooted in business endeavors – with being an actual part of the community which would give her license to use terms like “blouse,” “sissy,” and “punk.” Someone should have long checked her, but oh well.

Regardless, as she’s made all too apparent this week, her relationship with the LGBTQ community is transactional. For her, “it’s work” indeed. That’s why the second someone in that community steps out of line with her, her true feelings seeped out.

To wit, a subsequent Instagram post she made about the “messy punks” who canned one of her events in lieu of remarks made on Monday. Women like Khia always make clear how expendable they find us to be after a while. By the way, while I won’t deny the business acumen of street pharmacists, I will say Khia and co. don’t know shit about the way the human body or the mind works and I invite them to have a tall glass of shut the fuck up and sit their dumb asses in silence with respect to human sexuality and any multi-syllable words.

And in terms of consciousness, while rapping about sex doesn’t mean anything about one’s morality, by that same metric, she’s as big a bottom feeder on the moral scale as the bottoms she came for. Beloved, your claim to quasi-fame is slinging pussy and hurling insults. You are not Michelle Obama by any stretch of the imagination so sit your silly self the hell down.

As TS Madison pointed out on Facebook this week, although the two of them were stronger together, Khia had been reading and dragging celebrities on that red couch of hers for several years. It didn’t get her any of the attention she’s enjoyed recently until she partnered with a trans woman on a show that was overwhelmingly driven by the noise the LGBTQ community made about it on their behalf. It was outlets like INTO and writers like me giving the duo press.

Yes, Khia, you were on a Janet Jackson song, but that song wasn’t exactly “The Pleasure Principle.” Sure, you have other songs, but if you ask the casual straight person to name your tracks, they will promptly go with the dial-a-queer option for much-needed backup. So, yeah, spoiler, Khia: it wasn’t the “thugs” and “the conscious folks” boosting your ass up. It was Maddie the trans baddie and a bunch of queer folks watching from their phones.

That’s why Maddie will be fine because Maddie is kinder, Maddie is savvier, Maddie has greater ambition, and Maddie isn’t dumb enough to insult the people who have boosted her career. As for you, Khia, good luck duplicating that success without her and many of us because quiet as it’s kept, most of us merely tolerated your hateful self. Good luck filling up the next hole in the wall now.


Michael Arceneaux

Michael Arceneaux writes the “Dearly Beloved” advice column at INTO. He is the New York Times bestselling author of the newly released I Can't Date Jesus from 37 Ink/Atria Books/Simon & Schuster. His work has appeared in the New York Times, the Washington Post, Rolling Stone, Essence, The Guardian, Mic, and more. Follow him on Twitter.