We’ve all seen that hot, local guy online who makes our toes curl. He might be the mysterious stranger with the perfect amount of scruff and an adorable smile. Or he’s that geeky jock or that twink with the swimmer’s build or that furry stud—whichever flavor fits your fancy. Sure, you’re just basing your attraction on one pic, a few words, and a possible Instagram link. Yet, you’re pretty certain that if you met up, the encounter would be nothing short of a great time. So, you take a deep breath and send him a quick hello.
Then, he doesn’t write back.
Maybe he didn’t see it? Nope, he was online in the last 30 minutes, and you sent the message two hours ago. Maybe he’ll get back to you later? Or maybe he won’t. Without talking to him, you’ll likely never know. You already feel like a stalker for checking his online status. But, this isn’t just some guy, it’s the total stud you see online every day, and he loves road trips or rock climbing or Pokémon—and you could easily pretend to love that crap, too.
So, if he’s totally your type and he didn’t message back, should you write him again? You know, just in case he didn’t see your first contact or there was a glitch somewhere. Do you wait a few hours? A few days? A few weeks? Never? Or do you just bomb him with “Hi” over and over until he questions your sanity? If you’ve ever fallen prey to the “hi monster”—that guy who writes “Hi” or “Sup” to you every day until you eventually block him—you’d know that tactic feels restraining-order-worthy. So, without coming on too strong, what do you do?
Personally, I wouldn’t message someone again who didn’t reply to me. If you’re both in the same area, he can see you, too, and send a message if he feels like it. However, if you still want a second try, wait at least four days. Some guys need a lot of time to message back. It’s possible that he didn’t see your first one or that he forgot to respond. It’s also possible that he just didn’t like your profile. The worst that could happen? He blocks you. The best? You hang out!
However, there is a fine line between a second hello and becoming the “hi monster” – namely, if he ignores you again, don’t keep bugging him. It’s also best to avoid writing “I sent you a message and didn’t know if you got it.” A message like that isn’t a good start to a fun conversation. Keep it light, keep it real. Still, understand that sometimes the local eye candy is just meant to be—well—eye candy. Rejection doesn’t say anything bad about you. How well you handle being ignored, however, that speaks volumes.