Dearly Beloved, The Wrong Ex Wants Me Back

Dearly Beloved, The Wrong Ex Wants Me Back

In this week’s Dearly Beloved, the advice column from author Michael Arceneaux, our dear reader wants direction on what to do about an ex he can’t shake. To all the letters Dearly Beloved received in 2018, “get over your throwback bae” was my most common answer. In 2019, are we going to do better? Not to be Pessimistic Pat, but probably not. Still, help is on the way.

If you want Michael’s advice, just email him at [email protected] with your question. Just be sure to include SPECIFICS, and don’t forget to start your letter with Dearly Beloved!

It’s a thing.

 

Dearly Beloved,

It’s been eight months and I can’t get over my last ex. He always seems to find his way to me mentally. I want him back in my life, but I know he won’t come back. My first ex came back into my life and I’m not sure what for. I feel as though there’s some sign I’m missing, but I wanted to seek advice before digging any further into it. 

A little info: my first ex broke up with me because he felt as though we weren’t compatible and he was very nervous and shy with me. My second absolutely adored me. We began to fall in love, but we broke up because his parents didn’t want us dating. We would secretly talk to each other for a few weeks before he said he no longer had feelings for me.

Signed,

Jacob

Dear Jacob,

There’s no better way to start a new year than by abandoning the bullshit of  the year before.

With respect to your first ex, I will say good for you having someone that dumped you crawl his goofy ass back your way to ask for a second chance. Sometimes people learn from their mistakes and you remember forgiveness can be so beautiful. Other times, it’s nice to just do a victory lap around someone who wasted your time.

As for the second ex, I think you need to run in the opposite direction of him. While I get that you two have a connection and chemistry, you have three people against you: his parents, and, apparently, the man himself. Perhaps his lack of interest now stems from the parental pressure, but either way, he’s communicated to you that he no longer has feelings for you.

If it’s meant to be, he will circle back (like the first ex) eventually, though as far as I’m concerned, it’s time for you to let him go and find someone who wants you and will have parents that won’t block your blessing.  

Signed,

Beloved!


Michael Arceneaux

Michael Arceneaux writes the “Dearly Beloved” advice column at INTO. He is the New York Times bestselling author of the newly released I Can't Date Jesus from 37 Ink/Atria Books/Simon & Schuster. His work has appeared in the New York Times, the Washington Post, Rolling Stone, Essence, The Guardian, Mic, and more. Follow him on Twitter.